Luke 6: 27-28

it says "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."

wow..bless those who curse you and pray for those who mistreat you? but why? well...of course i know why but can i do it? i dont know. for now? i really dont know if i can do it.
then people will come and tell me "why cant u just get over it and let it go?" dont u think i want to do that too? this is really tiring fyi. and its not that easy. saying is easy but nobody will truly understand because the one who went through it was and is ME. its really not as simple as you think. a kid wont know the meaning of pain if he has not fallen and got himself injured.

however, dont get me wrong, in saying all that i'm not pointing fingers at others for not being understanding because unlike some, that's just not my style. i understand and have been in the position of others in cases like this where words are the only thing we can offer.

that is why i choose not to talk about it anymore cause i know there's no point. all i have to deal with now is myself. unfortunately..haha...i'm a pretty expressive kinda person. i will always want to share my feelings and thoughts, so for now the people i feel sorry for are my mum and brother for having to listen to me. hehe.
but still, God is my ultimate listener...He's the one i tell everything to because i know He can understand me more than anyone can and He wont get tired of listening to me, which is what i really need =)

how does it look?

ok..i got bored with my old template. not too sure if this one looks good.

need some feedback. what do u think?

they are slowly fading, sadly

i know i'm stress when i dont know what i'm doing or what i should do next. and that's what's been happening to me this week :p

yes, my i-think-i-can-fly pic is ridiculously retarded.

Happy Good Friday!

a boring but refreshing getaway

after much pestering from Ivory, we finally gave in. we went to Bukit Tinggi (yes, where the last church camp was held) last Thursday. honestly, it didnt turn out as bad as i thought it would be, surprisingly=)

besides eating and sleeping, there was nothing much we could do there. here's what we did:

Day 1 - arrived at 10.45, ate at around 11.15, took a nap from 12 till 4, ate again, took a stroll, ate, watched Mr Deeds (again!), sleep

Day 2 - woke up at around 8.30, ate breakfast, went to Colmar, Japanese Village and Rabbit park (yes, again! =p), ate lunch at 3, nap from 5 to
bout 7 plus, ate dinner at 8, cousins came for a stay, aunt brought more food...what else...eat la =p

Day 3 - woke up round 8sth, ate super filling breakfast, accompanied cousins to Colmar, Jap Village (that was my4th time!), got back to apt at 1, prepared lunch, ate, packed up and left at 4.

personally, out of everything, i enjoyed the shuttles rides the most. the cool and chilly air and the greens along the way made me feel so fresh ed. a kind of feeling that i can never get in KL. it was sort of an escape from the hustle and bustle of the city. no worries. no track of time. no assignments. no school. nice =)

just in case you're curious of how Bukit Tinggi looks like (which i doubt u are), photos are in my facebook.

blur me

you see..i dont have the habit of reading back whatever i wrote and thus i dont realise the numerous silly spelling and grammar mistakes i made =p haha. i only tend to read my posts days later and "look ivy, there's a mistake there, and there and there..." lol

now i know. read before you post. hehe

You're happy, I'm happy

there's always a time in life where we reach to a crossroad and we dont know which path to take. left? right? a dilemma i would say.

now, at the crossroad, the question is which path is the right one? for my case, it was whether to stand up for myself or do what pleases God. it was so tempting to do the former. i mean, who wouldn't ? it's a natural reaction when we're being treated unfairly especially by people we hold so dear to our heart. however, when the two choices were thrown to me, i immediately knew i wanted to please God more than anything else and that brought me to tears because that meant that i cant have justice for myself. BUT....the image of God smiling down at me and saying "Ivy, I am proud of you." gave me an indescribable feeling that confirmed my choice further. i want my Father in heaven and the God of the universe to be happy, pleased and ultimately glorified with the path i chose.

so what about the 'standing up for myself' part you'd ask. well...God will do that for me! when? i dont know. God works in His own timing and i believe that it will happen at the right time. after all He owns time, He can take as much time as He wants and who are we to question Him right. anyway, time will tell and we'll just have to wait and see =)

3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. Romans 5:3-5

You are the Hope that leads me on

phew....is the summary my past week.

ever felt like there's just so much going on in your head and your mind just decides to shut off? well...i'm in that state right now. or rather has been since Sunday. heh.

you know there's just so much one can bare, the rest are really left to God. there's nothing much we humans can do than to hope and pray that our Almighty God will carry us through.

a humble reminder

contrary to our common views, i look at other's death as God' s reminder to us of how fragile our life can be sometimes. we have almost zero amount of control over it. the way i see it, life is like a lighted candle that has no idea whatsoever as to when a wind would come and just blow its light off and that's scary. God can choose to blow that light off anytime He wishes, after all it belongs to Him; He owns it.

however, if the end destination of our life is apparent, i don't see any reason why there should be fear. =)

business world madness

after yesterday's experience, i realised that the term "no money, no talk" really applies especially in the business world. a world of no emotions i call it. so unbelievable. sigh...heh

couldn't have done it without you

i have nothing much to say really except that it's kinda depressing that everything's back to normal after the somewhat long-awaited-chinese-new-year break has finally come to an end. lol

i'll try to post some pics of my CNY soon...next week maybe. i'll try. heh

dont expect too much, my dear

today's presentation didn't go really well. haha. well...i didn't even know that i was nervous until i realised i didn't know what i was talking about. i was babbling. for the first time i wasn't confident with what i was going to present. all thanks to the lecturer who expects to much out and ended up being dissapointed because the class only had like two weeks to prepare the report and the presentation, and she expects excellent outcomes.
she's dissapointed, its ok. but she made things worse by taking it out on us. every group seem to have flaws in their work. her remarks were generally not so pleasant i would say. heh. and mind you, we still have two more presentations to go! how to survive la?

my advice to her: chill...life's too short to be so stressed up. have a break, have a Kit Kat...LOL =p

the rain that falls in the night

there are some people who are placed in our lifes simply to bring misery. sometimes even the sight of them hurts you.

no i'm serious. i bet everyone has had or will have at least one person in his or her life that has painted or will paint unpleasant memories in his or her life. be it that 'best friend' you've known since forever that backstabs you for some guy or that boss who takes all the credit for the work you've done or that group of click in school who makes you feel like an outcast or that mum who favours your genius sister over you or that guy who broke your heart for what seem like the millionth time and the list goes on.

so what pulls us through these times?

well...for me is God. my stronghold and my deliverer. sometimes i wonder what would i be if i didn't have Him in my life. my answer: a resident in Hospital Bahagia, Tanjung Rambutan. lol.

i'm not saying my life is full of sorrows and hurts that i would have to enrol into a mental instituition. haha. all i'm saying is if it weren't for the faith i have in the Lord's unfailing love for me, i wouldn't view things the way i view them today. His grace and mercy has sustained me through all circumstances. and that is why i believe there's no problem too big for God. there's a saying that says " Jesus is bigger than the biggest problem you ever have." how true it is.

let me end with a passage from Psalms 23 that never fails to comfort me:

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

boredom can actually kill

gosh....

the lecturer has a serious problem! i'm having a migraine thanks to his super-duper "exciting" class and note that this is the same lecturer that i once said speaks at the speed of 2seconds per word. to make things worse is his "flawless" english and his constant SS (syok sendiri) remarks.

tuesday's class is gonna be such a torture from today on. good luck me.

more than words

this is who and what God is to me:

• my faithful friend (always there to share my sorrows and joy)
• my tower of refuge (the place i run to in troubled times)
• my compass (guides me when i'm lost)
• my teacher (to tell me what's right and wrong)

the list would never end actually.

you gotta move on girl

school officially started yesterday. it was alright except for the fact that the lecturer spoke at the speed of two seconds per word almost put me to sleep :p really hope he improves though, or else a three-hour class would turn into a six-hour class. i can almost see that this sem would be one nerve wrecking semester. up to today, there will be three presentations to do and some role play and i have no clue how many more will come..ah....lol.

my uncle treated us to a lunch hi-tea at the Legend last sunday. it was fun. i love eating. hehe. i also love the fact that we are one family that eats without barrier. if you know what i mean. to us eat means eat. haha. no saying "eh dont eat this, too high cholesterol", "eh dont eat that, too much sugar", "eh you have high blood, dont eat seafood"...i mean you only live once, enjoy it while you can. plus it's not always that we indulge in all these right. so anyway yea...love eating with my family :) hehe.

oh..decided to go for a jog on tuesday with ivory. changed clothes, put on socks, shoes, opened the gate, walked to the park, took a stroll for like two minutes, started to jog a little. it rained. nice. -_-

all in all...its all good :)

Hello 2008 !

yup... and that also means goodbye 2007 :(

so yea...first post of the year. hehe. lets just start with a lil recap of 2007...overall it's been an exiciting year...lots of ups and downs actually and like ivan said, it's been a year with the most things happened.
there were good times like church camp in may (it was by far the best time of the year for me) and of course the year wouldn't be complete without the bad times which i dont think i would like to share. sorry to crush your hopes though. lol :p

anyways...its a new year and that means a fresh start too :) resolutions? hmm...i think i'll pass that. you see the reason why i dont wanna have new year resolutions is very simple: i dont keep up to it! so why bother...just go with the flow la...wherever God leads. haha. oh but there is one thing that i would like to start doin this year (hopefully the zeal stays to at least march :p), that is to exercise more or to be more accurate, to start exercising. haha. i'm not complaining bout being fat or anything but figured it'll be one of the more beneficial ways to fill my time as it finally dawned on me that sleeping isn't really fruitful after all. lol

other than that...i'll be starting my 6th sem that is the second last semester next week...how exicting -_- i'm seriously not looking forward to business law...arrgh..all those penal codes just dont seem to exicite me. oh..but i do look forward to something though...Chinese New Year! lol. i know i know...it's a month away. but having something to look forward to seem to make the days past faster. hehe

oh well...can't wait to see what's God installed for me this year :) till the next post....

tata

my priceless blessings

haha. yes..i know i said i was done with this year's posts.

but just felt like sharing this. hehe. God has truly blessed me with family and friends that always have my back in no matter what i do and what decisions i make and just figured that these people (you know who you are) fully deserve my thank you. i know a word of thank you isn't comparable to the amount of support you guys gave, be it directly or indirectly, but trust me they mean a lot to me. through thick and thin you have been there :) and know that i love each and every one of you.

so, THANK YOU all !! you'll always have special places in my heart :)

ok ok this is really gonna be the final post. hehe. anyhow, once again...Merry Christmas ! best wishes year 2008.

this has to end soon

this week has generally been kinda good. not great but ok. at least better than last week.

there's been a lot going through my mind and i'm starting to feel tired. tired of all the qualms mostly that i wish i had the answers to. i want to move ahead. i really do. but it's really not as easy as it looks you know. things that i dont want to think of somehow just keep flashing in my mind constantly, making it really tiring for me as i try so hard to ignore them.

Lord, i know you're there. Give me rest.
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

as cliche as it sounds, the year indeed past fast with much to look back. there were good times that would stay as memories and of course there were also bad times that would stay as history. but God has been faithful.

this would be my last post for the year. so here's wishing everyone a Blessed Christmas and Happy New Year !! :)

in the midst of recovery

we planned to go to melaka today for a day trip. was supposed to be an eating trip. hehe. mum didn't want to drive so wake up at six, take a bus down to puduraya to buy bus ticket to melaka was the actual plan. but somehow luck wasn't on our side, ivory locked the car keys in the car when mum and i went down to get something, so we had to take a cab back home to get the spare keys :p and by the time we got back to our car it was already ten.

to cut the long story short, we ended up at sungei wang and times square instead. hehe. it wasn't too bad. the only thing was KL was practically ruled by foreigners especially at central market and petaling street. there was like a sea of them. buses were all packed with them. and man...it was chaotic at sungei wang and times square...left, right, up, down...humans everywhere.

all that aside...i managed to get myself a t-shirt and a pair of pumps! mission accomplised. hehe. wanted to buy anothe pair of shoes but mum wouldn't allow. she was like "you're not even working why do you need so many pairs of shoes?" -_- an interesting but tiring day indeed.

my feet needs rest.

make me smile

aunt and mum decided to take grandparents for buffet. it was aunt's treat :)
it's been a while since i indulged in food. hehe. it was good not to mention the extra pounds gained...like i care anyway. lol. oh and i realised i'm not really a meat person. couldn't even finish a piece of chicken, how pathetic.

and cant wait to go shopping. i want a new pair of shoes! :p but i think i have to go on my own since mum would most probably not fancy the idea of having to tail me shop after shop, cousins going out of town, ivan would rather guard the church and i would rather not torture my friends so solo-shopping it is though mum would disagree. oh well...we'll see. but anyhow i want a new pair of shoes by end of the year :p

oopps almost forgot...gotta write Christmas cards. have to post tomorrow. dont want them to be belated christmas cards. lol

arios XD